i admit im having depression. for goodness sake, i started to think about dying. i have been thinking of dying since last year. i dont know why. you guys might think i have a perfect fairytale story in my life, but never okay. my symptoms of depression: - a change in appetite, with significant weight loss or weight gain - a change in sleeping patterns, such as difficulty sleeping, early morning awakening, or sleeping too much -constant feelings of sadness, irritability, or tension -restlessness or feeling slowed down -decreased ability to make decisions or concentrate -feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, or guilt -thoughts of suicide or death
im scared. i dont find people loving me or care for me. im really scared to be alone. i always blame the operation. i find myself ugly inside and outside. i dont know whats happening to me. im really, really scared. i kept crying this days. i might just die in the room alone one day w/o no one noticing me. i aint perfect, i am never too perfect for anyone. i dont know what to do. i need friends. i need my whole family behind me. i need someone. he could be counsellor or a doctor maybe. but for goodness sake, im scared of hurting myself though i want to die. :(
That smile. Y
12:47 AM
Thursday, April 2, 2009
hey. i am super irritated by this woman. i kept seeing her every single morning. and she's one super weird chinese lady. she would wear sports attire- shirt and long track pants with sports shoe. know what she does that irritated me so much? she takes out her camera and either takes video or pictures of the surroundings. i dont't get it. it's bugging me so much that i feel like venting out my anger on her. i mean what's up with her man? its either she's crazy or too excited to take pictures or video about people. for goodness sake, i saw her at yewtee just now. she still did the same thing. and i was confirmed that she was doing something with her camera to capture people's faces. eh really, ni boleh mendatangkan kemarahan!! anyways, im gonna start my math tuition tomorrow. for 2 hours, im gonna learn math. gosh, so excited!!!! haha. btw, syafiq is super cool and funny. haha. ok so random... im trying to prevent myself from going out with friends. hence, i'll be stuck at home for the rest of my life till mid-november. hehe. don't miss me too much. haha. ok gotta go now. take care peeple. gdnite!
love, ain
That smile. Y
6:31 PM
♥bonjour♥
Welcome to MY BLOG :] Site: http://summer-goddess.blogspot.com/ Webmiss: Nurul' Ain
♥The GIRL next door
♠ Small
♠ Neat
♠ Always laughing just like a Santarina!
♠ Always SMILEY! You can't deny MY SMILE! :]
♠ Passion for singing.
♠ Currently Sec 4 in Regent
♠ Pleasant
♥Lovees♥
♠ My family!
♫ Music ♫
♠ My girlfriends.
♠ Cute, curly-haired guys!
♠ And of course, MYSELF!
♥Wish Upon That Smile♥
♠ SAMSUNG slider phone ♠ Casio watch ♠ ZenStone + ♠ Sunhat
♠ HIM!! :]
♠ A taller ME!!!
♠ Pass O Levels
♠ Revamp my Room
♠ RIPCURL Bottle
♠ Camera
