Friday, September 28, 2007
wow.50 posts for my first blog.not bad at all.hee.hmm.i'm like a total feminist now.
i don't even care to look at boys.
i don't even give a damn to cute,hunkie boys.
to me,they are just stupid bastards and freakos on the street.
well.ain knows how to take care of herself.
ahaa.i am so,so tired of rship with guys.
they suck at this.boo-ya!
dammn.
broke up with him today.
wonderful.such a wonderful moment.
he is totally changed.
i just can't seem to know him.what happen to that guy i knew?
Lord took that away from him.
away from me,infact.
where's that old him?dammn every guys.arghh.
mistakes he did : disrespecting me, rude language and a lot more which i do not want to disclose.
i thought he changed for the better but worser,mann!
i tried to blend in but he went overboard this time.
i can't i believe i did what i did.dump 2 guys,mann!
atleast, im free like a bird.haha.so proud of myself.
GIRL POWER!!!!! :D
shahid thinks im a desperado.yadayadayada.
if you do not want me to contact you,just say so.
u said it through my friend, for what?
cowards mann.speak up your mind,luhh.
"die sekejap ade,sekejap takde.mcm biskut seh,sekejap ade sekejap takde jugak."
fine lah guys,leave me then.
its hard to be friends with me.idk why.im so weird.
dammn.i just wanna kisskiss and makeup with everyone that I have sins with.
gahh.i dont even know how to feel right now.maybe i did the wrong thing?
well. from what i know,i want to start afresh and be the geekiest girl in school.
i saw zuhaili on my fav bike, the red one.
he is so cute and chubby.
i was talking to Ms Li that time.dammn.did not get the chance to say something.
i smiled only.he did smile too.i miss that smile.
he was with a girl.that girl was riding a bike,too.
dammn.he has a gf liao.and i just broke up.
alahhhhh.nvm,got secret weapon.haha.it's called the "OKS" plan.
you pronounce it as "OX".
hha.hope my friends know what that means.
ahaa.well,gotta mug now.exams starting.
goodnight!
love,
ain
That smile. Y
9:18 PM
Thursday, September 27, 2007
sigh,i love him.
but why must he do this to me?
why must he change so drastically until i dont recognise him anymore?
am i to blame?
why must this always happen to me?
why must i LIVE A life LIKE THIS?
why must i be like this?
why does everyone wants to hurt me?
don't they hurt me enough?
why do they wanna leave me alone?
what is my fault?
STOP IT LAH,EVERYONE!!!!!!!!
i can't stand this stupid shit anymore.
That smile. Y
8:56 PM
Friday, September 21, 2007
dear diary,i want to be reincarnated or start afresh.i want to start a new life with shahid.he is the only one that understands me well.why does he wants to come back now?i have a bf now.he is just too little too late.this always happen when i have a bf.i really miss him alot.i want to be more than friends with him.don't i even have the opportunity to atleast meet him?i thought he had forgotten all about me since i initiated the "dont-contact-me-anymore".suddenly,he reappear in my life.i just feel so lost.i just don't know what to do.my friends?i'm not close to them anymore.just feel like shutting myself up from the friends.her blog had affected me alot when i read it.i can't believe the person i know to be typing that.i stopped talking to her since.and even if i do,it's just so awkward.looking at the friends around her,i know that she can survive.those people are replacing me,that's why she doesnt feel anything.one person just really,really could replace me.i don't care,really.i hate those sights.i am not jealous,just feel like a stupid moron when i am with them.one more thing,why must she get in contact with my top-hated guy-PET.it's her choice.she once did said that it feels awkward not talking to a close friend even for one day.the close friend was referring to PET.if she feels that way about PET,what does she feel when i don't talk to her for this week?gahh.i have reminded her umpteen times to not get in contact with PET.but since she is stubborn,it is fine with me really.she would rather believe a guy friend of hers rather than her best friend.naja,amirah and athirah now looks like the 3's during sec 1.i feel like crying.but no,i cant cry.i am in the classroom.can't just cry without rhyme or reason.why must i always go to school and put a brave front in front of people when inside feels so sore?where is the ♥ in everyone?am i the one that is changing?i just dont know,ok.i cannot stand anymore living in this deceitful world.may i just fall into a deep,deep sleep today.if i die,forgive me for my sins.hope all is well.amin.
love,
ain
That smile. Y
8:56 PM
Sunday, September 9, 2007
YESTERDAY
went window-shopping at Geylang.
finding brown baju kurung
but to no avail,
brown was not the season colour this Hari Raya.
i have always wanted to wear white baju kurung,too.
eating and drinking under the moonlight,
at the Pasar at Geylang,
chendol and chapati with kima.
it was inexpensive but...
those delicacies was just engaging and,
it made me smile.
bought "LOVE IS CINTA" VCD.
the man selling the VCD said he cried watching the movie.
the first time i saw Hari Raya Lights-Up.
my mom said the lights looked better than the previous years.
it was much,much more brighter
with blue,green,red,orange,yellow lights.
i can now feel the Hari Raya atmosphere!
TODAY
watched "LOVE IS CINTA"!
it was good and very emotional.
almost cried,though.
remembered the times when i was still with Zuhaili.
i can't help but feel oh so sad,
remembering the brief moments i had with him.
such short but deep moments...
i had just wanted an assurance from him.
he had never gave me the assurance.
he should have just said "I LOVE YOU" to me.
why is it so hard to say the word "love" to me?
goshh.i'm still feeling for him.
how can i play with my feelings?
he just doesn't know i cried for him so hard
for almost 1/2 a year.
managed to forget about him,
but he is always the one that will be in my heart forever.
sorry for these emotional part.
did all my homework!
during the process of doing all homeworks,
i revised too.
feel good about myself though.hee.
HSM2 will be starting in 4 hrs and 26 mins.
reviews said that HSM2 is a bit draggy than HSM.
and some said that HSM2 is a letdown.
yadayadayada,whatever.
im still gonna watch it!hha.
TOMORROW
the start of Term 4 in school!
want to have breakfast,as it is the most important part of the day.
btw,fasting period is coming.
i wanna be clean and pure on this period.
TOTALLY,clean and pure!
hee.gee.bee.mee.kee.lee.pee.
talking about pee,
i wanna have my nature call now.
ADIOS everyone.
Love,
ain
That smile. Y
2:13 PM
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
so much's happening.i just can't express it in words.im falling in love with this song called "ADA CINTA".and just great cos dad's know i have a blog.i was talking to naja at bro's room and he went into my room and discovered my blog.chicken sia!but i don't feel worried.ahaa.godd,i finished my malay,english and physics homework.alhamdullilah.i'm left with social studies essay and history essay.dammn!i hate essays.ahaa.actually there's math.but since i didn't go for this mock exam,i didn't get the holiday homeworks.dammn!i wanna do math!!haha.complain pulak.hha.anyway,about that song.i really LOOOVE it! :D sang by Acha Septriasa and Irwansyah.the song is for the movie "LOVE IS CINTA".i want to see that movie.if anyone do have the CD,please lend it to me.GODD,that guy just seems to know everything.then would muchly tell a girl.and yeaa.i so hate that guy.stop it lah sehh.kepo no.1!!!!kalahkan mak nam!ahaa.btw,i miss POA's class today.i woke up at 8.34am.then,i didnt wanna go cos class ends at 9.30am.waste time kan!?haha.and tmr i have POA class.it starts at 9.30am and ends at 11am.im gna meet him after class.his paper's end at 12pm.lambatkan?but i sacrificed(kononnye lah eh!haha)my time for him gituu.hehe.i miss him alotalotalot!ok.now i wanna find my sources for history essay.GOODNIGHT!
love,
ain
That smile. Y
9:50 PM