Wednesday, May 21, 2008
you know, sometimes i feel like shouting so loud to let go of all my unknown feelings.i just wonder?how can people do this to me??
after my operation, people ran away from me as if im some monster or sth.
first, nafis.second, tedd.third, ira.then, amee.followed by, fauzi.
what did i even do in the first place?
maybe, some readers will say 'PADAN MUKE KAU!" to me.
i just dont know.really dont know.
well let me get the facts right.
*im not trying to badmouth you guys k*
to ira,
you had said to me before that you would really want to work our problems out.
but you didnt even talk to me in school. you tried to avoid wherever possible.
do you know how different and sad i was these past few weeks?
although you could see me laugh here and there, you just couldnt see my inner heart feelings.
maybe you felt normal to be having "new" few friends that could replace me.idk ira.
we have known each other for 4 years and maybe, still counting...
and you still dont know who i am. i thought i could count on you to give me some support due to our friendship problems.
we aren't small kids anymore, you know? [nak kawan, tanak kawan] is a big no-no to us already ok.
i gave you this bottle on our timeline of our friendship on your birthday this year. look at it properly and ask yourself whether you want our friendship to sink just like the "bead-made" boats.
im sorry if i seem to be putting all the blame on you. no, ira. i just want you to think about the words you said to me after all these years.
sorry again and i hope you will try to understand my situation here. :[
to amee,
you're just acting too weird for me.first, you will be smiling at me and the next, you're acting so cold at me.
i felt so confused by the way you act. sometimes,i dont even know whether i should talk to you.
maybe now you have feroz who could be replacing me? idk amee.
you have never shared your problems to me so idk what kind of problems you may be facing.
i know im not your type like hanging out with "cool" guy friends (i suppose), but asamatteroffact, it doesn't matter.
to think you would choose "THEM" over me after all these 4 years being friends? idk amee.
i still remember clearly in my mind on sunday for our ELDS outing.
to think again (once more), that you left all of us just to be with feroz.
i mean, hello!, aren't we suppose to be chilling with other ELDS members and remembering that we will graduate soon?
you said you were 'sorry' in your blog for 'ditching us'. well three people had defended you. good for you, amee!
maybe you weren't thinking of what your actions will do and how it hurt others due to your action?
choices have consequences, amee! you said you were sorry to me. what for?
after saying a 'sorry' word, you deliberately avoided me again at school. is that what people do when they said sorry to someone?
i guess that will be a 'no'!! where is thing called "kiss and makeup"? well amee, im not being harsh on you.
maybe you should change for the better, amee. im sorry if what i said really hurts you. idk what to do anymore, amee. :[
once again, maybe readers felt that im being harsh on them but see it is the only way to solve this friendship.
well do pray for me that everything will be just fine... :]
love,
ain
That smile. Y
5:49 PM
Thursday, May 1, 2008
arggghhh!!!
MYE for me, baybehh!
That smile. Y
12:23 AM