hey. wanna update on something that i just realise about my life. my life as i know for 16 years is one rollercoaster ride. it had not been better and neither had it been any worse. i felt suicidal recently, due to just some minor stuffs. but i am not gonna post some 'EMO-SHITS' down here, aight? no worries. :] well, i thought that being 16 is the most wonderful thing to experience. everyone who read this might be 16 or even, less or more than 16. everyone will go through this age whereby everything will change so much, that you will find yourself twisting your life. and i mean, really TWIST. everyone make mistakes and you can never find a person who doesn't. i expected life to be much more clearer and better, but what i am experiencing right now is something much more dull and not better. i am sorry if i am gonna hurt anyone here kay. hmm. i felt that i am too naive/gullible to everyone. i just could not bring myself to trust anyone anymore, after what that has happened this year. i found myself, sometimes, trapped in the past. i wanted to forget about my EX but then, he came back to me this year. i didn't know what to expect from him. i was blinded by L-O-V-E. then, after the usual contacting each other, i found myself contacting a totally different EX. he's changed so much. i even felt that he was just playing with my feelings. i could not bring myself to contact him anymore(it's been 2 days already!). i felt threatened by his presence and i was pressurised by the thought of a third party. guess we're just not meant to be yea? :] i also thought that as the sec-four year is coming to an end, everyone will be super-close to each other. it didn't happen to me though. had two fights with two group of friends this year. i even felt that i did not even existed in the two friendships. i was an invincible figure in the whole misunderstanding. i said i was sorry but no one heard how sorry i was for myself. i miss NAJA, IRA, AMEE and LULU. i hope that time will stop so that i can re-build this friendship to be strong once again. then, i found out that i am trapped in the past again. i'm not saying that my friends change but, it's just that i want to see the old NAJA, IRA, AMEE and LULU. where we all will hangout and laugh till our throats get very dry. sadly to say, i can't make people change for me and neither will i ask them to change. i just want a simple request from you guys that we will make damn sure that we will hangout more in the future. and to ANA, i treasure this friendship more and more after every meet-ups and sharing of stories.hehe. i just want to tell you how happy i have been being with you. you were there for me when everything and everyone left. i am so thankful to GOD that i have you as a friend. i assure you that i will never let you down. ANA, just know that i will be gladly there for you. anytime and anywhere! :] anyways, i have been having this migraines in the evening. and sometimes, i feel like throwing up. gosh, i feel like the sickest person in Singapore. hehe. AND! there have been these 3 days which i wanted to collect my passport at ICA with my mom. the first one, my mom said she was too lazy to go out. the second one, it was too late already as the passport collection closes at 4.30pm. and the third one which was TODAY (13 NOV) did happen. BUT my mom didn't ask me to bring my IC along. thus, it was a wasted trip there. and the fourth one will happen TMR (14 NOV). must DIE-DIE take my passport tmr! haha. okay, i will stop this non-stop, long and draggy post for now.GOODNIGHT PPL! love, ain [0035am]
That smile. Y
11:40 PM
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