Monday, April 14, 2008
dearie bloggie,
school was as usual today.
nothing special...oh wait, i remember something.
fauzi brought chicken seaweed from home for me.haha.
sweet banget ya?!
he is just my guy friend, anyway.
mid years are two weeks from now.
so i won't be blogging here so frequent anymore again.
about the previous post, i don't want to be question about that yea.
im suppose to meet someone today, but that person ah cock-up dong.
but nvm...still can meet up that person sooner or later.
fnn coursework is due next monday.
i feel so nervous and scared to hand up that thingy.haha.
giving it to the monster is scary alright.
after o levels, i want to do a new friendster and bloggie.
i will revamp this two things like everyday after o levels.haha.
doesn't make any sense though.
my chinese drama at 5.30pm is starting soon. so ta-daa!
chioooooow.
love,
ain
That smile. Y
5:27 PM
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Dear blog,im sorry for not updating you these past few months.to tell you the truth, my life is a complete mess right from A-Z.
i went to Natasha's bday party and Cikgu Salha's night bbq the past few months.they were a blast-just hanging out with my loved friends.
took a lot of pictures but, i can't seem to know where it goes.haha.
after those lovely outings, my life was going down the hill. :[
my main point of blogging today is to emphasise on the word 'friends'.
friends are companions who would share their joy, laughter and cry together.
but in my book, the word 'friends' doesnt even exist.
i have been misunderstood by many over and over again.
Do you know how rejected I am to see myself being neglected?
Do you know how I feel when friends just talk about me behind my back?
i can't hide my feelings. if you think i am talking about you, please do put some sense in your head.
try to put yourself in my shoes.not even try, just do it.
you eased my pain when i am in the hospital.
but when im not in the hospital, you contribute to the pain and try to make everything impossible for me.
i dont even understand why the hell you did it.
all the pains you caused have make me lost my confidence in me. the smiley me that i use to be everyday.
we've been friends for 4 years. why must you do what you did to me?
haven't i give you a sense of belonging, the caringness towards a friend and even smiles to brighten up your day?
if that was not enough, should i give my life instead?
as i sing the 'Graduation Day song' by Vitamin C during Award's Day on friday, i cried.
i cried so badly thinking about what we went through to still be friends.
i am even crying as i am typing this post now.i love to have friends, make friends and even to care, love and share things with friends.
but if this is what it means to have friends, i dont mind being an introvert instead.
i am willing to change the way i am for you, but are you willing to change for me?
people see me as a smiley person, but they dont know hurt and sad i feel inside.
i wish i died sooner or later. you wouldnt even care right?
let me say this to this guy,you dont need to be scared of me. im not a monster or anything. you should be scared of Allah swt instead.please stop saying negative stuffs about me.i thought you could be the best guy friend you would ever be, but you turned out to be differentthan what i expected you to be. i want you to remember me as the SUPERGIRL you knew me before. may God bless you.
to my friends,i am sorry for what ive done to you guys. i hope that we could be friends forever and i really mean it. why can't we just get along together? lets just put aside everything and talk from heart to heart. if you think that we should just break up this 4 years offriendship, i should just respect that and get along with life. im affected by what you said and it crumbles my heart to hear that. i really want us to be the way we were during the first year in school. may God bless you guys. thanks for being my finest friends.
love,
ain
That smile. Y
12:42 AM