Friday, September 21, 2007
dear diary,i want to be reincarnated or start afresh.i want to start a new life with shahid.he is the only one that understands me well.why does he wants to come back now?i have a bf now.he is just too little too late.this always happen when i have a bf.i really miss him alot.i want to be more than friends with him.don't i even have the opportunity to atleast meet him?i thought he had forgotten all about me since i initiated the "dont-contact-me-anymore".suddenly,he reappear in my life.i just feel so lost.i just don't know what to do.my friends?i'm not close to them anymore.just feel like shutting myself up from the friends.her blog had affected me alot when i read it.i can't believe the person i know to be typing that.i stopped talking to her since.and even if i do,it's just so awkward.looking at the friends around her,i know that she can survive.those people are replacing me,that's why she doesnt feel anything.one person just really,really could replace me.i don't care,really.i hate those sights.i am not jealous,just feel like a stupid moron when i am with them.one more thing,why must she get in contact with my top-hated guy-PET.it's her choice.she once did said that it feels awkward not talking to a close friend even for one day.the close friend was referring to PET.if she feels that way about PET,what does she feel when i don't talk to her for this week?gahh.i have reminded her umpteen times to not get in contact with PET.but since she is stubborn,it is fine with me really.she would rather believe a guy friend of hers rather than her best friend.naja,amirah and athirah now looks like the 3's during sec 1.i feel like crying.but no,i cant cry.i am in the classroom.can't just cry without rhyme or reason.why must i always go to school and put a brave front in front of people when inside feels so sore?where is the ♥ in everyone?am i the one that is changing?i just dont know,ok.i cannot stand anymore living in this deceitful world.may i just fall into a deep,deep sleep today.if i die,forgive me for my sins.hope all is well.amin.
love,
ain
That smile. Y
8:56 PM